Tasogare Update #4

I’m going through a major rewrite of chapter 1. After checking out the “Natsuki’s Prelude” translated by apollyon_0 which
jaded088 had kindly supplied me, I’m making some major plot changes to the story. That means I’m rewriting the later parts of chapter one so 1. It’s more canon/in character. 2. It flows more smoothly 3. It makes more sense.

I’m cutting out the stuff about Natsuki’s father sending her a bike. I’m changing that to maybe absurd amounts of money and a rather annoying email that pissed her off. I’m not letting Natsuki forgive him that easily. So the later parts will be changed to fit that…I’m not sure how but I’m working on it now. I also added and cut so dialogue. That’s because some parts are too OoC and unnatural… I’ll get back to work now and hopefully I’ll post something up when I’m done.

Oh and starryheavens07 I might send you the rewritten part to edit…(later perhaps?). It’s a rather major change. Hope you’ll bare with me. Really, thanks for helping me, I’m forever in your debt.

~ by PhantomBlaze on June 3, 2008.