Tasogare: The Parody
This is Grak’s parody version of the first half of my prologue. She was trying to show me how to write an awesome fanfic. It’s crack and totally lovable so enjoy!
Tasogare: The Parody
by the Almighty Grak-sama
Prologue:
A lone boy hurried down the street, eager to get home before it turns completely dark. He stopped abruptly at an intersection.
Presented to him were two options. Choosing to turn left into the small, shadowy alleyway means shorter travelling distance but he will be travelling in darkness. Choosing to keep going straight down the main road means that he will be walking under the streetlights but he will have to walk for longer. He hesitated and looked at his Hello Moto: 5.30pm.
A sudden blast of cold air blew into his face. Shivering and blinking his sore eyes, he quickly turned and walked down the alleyway.
The boy pulled his jacket around his tighter as he trudged along the shadowy lane. The sound of his stiletto heels echoed loudly against the bare, grimy walls as he walked. He had been working in a transvestite bar ever since he was eighteen months old. He quickened his pace, wanting to get out of this eerie, chilling passage as soon as possible. Suddenly he stopped. He sensed another’s presence behind her. Slightly scared, the boy twirled around.
No one was there.
He quickly turned back and quickened his pace to a brisk walk. The dark alleyway was starting to unsettle him. He was a coward and he knew it.
Then he saw it.
Another set of shadows followed right behind him. Yet he heard no footsteps. Terrified and paranoid, he walked faster. Strangely the shadow kept his pace. When the poor boy walked faster, the shadow walked faster. He walked slower, so did the shadow.
Curiosity getting the better of him, he finally plucked up his courage and turned his head and with all that greeted him was nothingness.
Hysteria overcame him; he broke into a mad run, struggling not to twist his delicate ankles. The shadow reappeared while keeping up with him easily, because he could only do frog jumps since he was wearing a mini-skirt.
No matter how fast he ran or jumped, the silent footsteps were always right behind, jumping with him.
Terrified, he dare not turn back to look but concentrated his energy on trying to out run his pursuer. Finally the shadow drew closer. The boy, panicking, screamed for help as he ran blindly down the street.
Suddenly, the boy’s foot slipped. He tripped gracefully; he tried to do push ups to scare off his stalker but fell hard onto his hands, grazing them. Trickle of warm blood flowed from his wound. Clutching his injured hands, he quickly picked himself up. Not daring to look behind him since his ego was broken due to the push ups, he tore away, hoping regain his speed to lose his stalker.
He had only taken a few steps before feeling himself getting caught in a pair of strong, hard arms and thrown violently against the wall. Winded, he would have dropped to the floor. But he was pinned against the walls by her attacker. He lifted his dazed head and gasped as he stared at the face of his assassin.
His assassin has a divinely handsome face that no mortal would ever dream of possessing.
He was a gorilla.
With smooth, stylish hair and elegant suit of a young, smartly dressed gorilla, his assassin would have blinded him if they weren’t in a situation such as this. But he wasn’t gasping because of its horribly beautiful visage. It was because of the seedy expression he wore. The beautiful face was distorted by a look of dangerous, feral hunger; so ghastly it made him look like a wild gorilla instead of a domestic gorilla. To make him even more horribly beautiful were the red, bacteria infected, glowing eyes that stared at the boy in desire; the desire to peel him like another ripe banana. The poor boy could not determine which was more chilling: the odour of the bestial man’s breath or his infectious eye virus. The boy’s heartbeat raced as his face came closer and closer.
“The smell of your %#$!#… is very… enticing.” his assassin whispered in a seductively gentle voice while rubbing his #!%!#, sending shivers down the boy’s spine. Achingly slow, he bent his head down towards the crook of his neck, breathing against his skin while snort came in and out. His heart sped up as the gorilla closed their distance. He was going to contract cataract.
The boy’s breathing hitched and he involuntarily gasped as his assassin’s tongue snaked out and licked his neck, leaving blobs of bananary saliva. He seemed to have noticed that for he gave the boy a mischievous grin. “You seem to have taken a liking towards me. I would assume you are the natural ‘uke’ receiving end.”
The boy’s eyes widened in disbelieve. He took in a deep breath and opened his mouth to protest on his potential to be a seme but his voice died down as quick as radioactive nucleus breaking down in their half-lives. The hairy thing bit down hungrily onto his chest. Blood spurted out, spraying both their faces. The overwhelming combination of the sharp pain in his chest, the shock of a man savagely biting his fake water balloon boobs and the draining of his precious cleavage caused the boy to collapse in a dead faint.
That’s much better, the monster thought as he eagerly lapped up the warm liquid flowing from his water balloon. Normal tap water can never substitute sparkling fresh filtered mineral tap water… I can feel my strength returning to me. My mojo is standing up~!!! OHO.
However his feast was cut short by an unexpected explosion of heat at the back of his head. He quickly jerked his head up as the heat was followed by spasm of pain. His hand instantly went to feel the back of his head. What he found surprised him immensely, the hairs on the back of his head were gone and the exposed skull was aching due to the burn.
“Be happy, t’was a free shave, you lightbulb,” a voice spoke out from behind him in a deadpanned manner.
“A bit down you would have got his @^@$#!” replied another with an accented, musical tone.
“Ah. I’ll keep that in mind for next time.” the first voice grumbled. “Let’s go back to the zoo already, Amachi.”
Random Rambling 